Friday, April 24, 2015

Bullying And What Has Changed

The way we parent, the way we teach, and most importantly the schools. Social media has ramped up the immediate access kids have to each other allowing for "cyber courage" and more evilness.  Possibly the fact that some parents prefer to be friends with their kids instead of parents could add to it, I don't know.  

Parenting is a big job, I know it. Since the new technology has begun I have regularly checked my daughter's texts, emails, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. It's a parents job. Parents toes would curl if they saw the way their kids spoke on Twitter.

My personal experience is of my only child, my kind daughter being severely bullied for the past seven years through two schools in a Wisconsin village of under 5,000 residents.

Of the hundreds of bullying incidents, and I am not exaggerating, I think at this point MAYBE three parents have been called. We are told by schools they have progressive discipline. We are told that "Zero Tolerance" does not mean punishment it simply means addressing it. Which is calling a kid to the office and saying don't do it again if the administration is not too exhausted. No note in the record no phone call home.  Some of the incidents have been so severe they broke laws and citations were issued because I had to call the police.

What happened to calling parents, detentions, in school suspensions and three days suspensions? 

If we did something wrong when I was in school or were late three times we got a detention. End of story. We would miss our bus and have to figure out how to get home. And for every minor infraction the school called home, teachers and administrators it's your job! That much has not changed.

The parents of these hundreds of mean kids in my daughters school have no idea what their kids are doing. How could they possibly? Some of these kids I know personally and come from great homes and their parents would be disgusted. If they only knew.

Most kids that don't bully are deathly afraid of defending a bullied child because they themselves will become the next target and they've seen the behavior towards certain students for years. I don't blame them! The few that do are so brave and I commend them.

Our teachers always communicated from kindergarten through 12th grade with our parents. And you better have rushed home and told your parents what happened at school before the teacher called or you were really in big trouble.  

Schools nowadays claim if it didn't happen after the first bell and before the last bell it's not their problem. Funny when I was in school if there was rumor anyone was at a drinking party and they were on sports or not, on any given weekend you were definitely called down to the office, parents called, and suspended from games or kicked off the team. 

The stuff I've seen on Twitter this week about how many of these kids are drinking regularly, hung over all the time driving like maniacs talking about all of the sex they have and doing drugs, it's all out there in a public forum. Kids aren't allowed recess anymore, instead of having recess monitors, and there are no hallway monitors, I suggest you begin social media monitors.  The kids text and use social media all day long through all of their classes, this is something I will never understand.  I see selfies in the classroom even with teachers in the background all the time.

Our children are in your schools for longer than they spend with their parents at home.  Schools, it IS your job to STOP this.  I am weary of your excuses.  My daughter suffers every hour of every day because the adults in her school either  think it's not their problem--or think real discipline is passe.  Stop this now--and do your jobs.

Kids hate it when we talk about the way things were years ago because times have changed, I get that. But what's  also changed is more children's lives are being destroyed, kids want to die from the pain of the peer treatment, and kids are being successful in suicide from bullying. 

Sometimes change is not for the better.

Please take 10 seconds to hear my daughters message loud and clear